What Worries Me

You know what worries me. The thought of my son school attending elementary school. Let’s skip the soapbox about how the kids these days are crazy, unfiltered, internet zombies who are numb to the actual value of life. Let’s shoot straight for the fear of sending my kids to school and him not coming home. Even typing that it made me shiver. You send your kids to school, you try to teach them how to handle things the right way. You try to teach him how it is important to respect the teachers, others, and themselves. All the while we are inundated with videos of kids getting knocked out during fights and children clearing out schools with weapons people created for mass warfare.


A quote from Mikhail Kalashnikov (creator of the AK47) later in his life…

“I keep having the same unsolved question: if my rifle claimed people’s lives, then can it be that I… a Christian and an Orthodox believer, was to blame for their deaths?”[

Let me pause to say I’m fully aware that the connection of information with the push of a button makes this life waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different than my growing experience in the 80s. When the only thing you had on your mind was candy, chip, girls, music and the birth of video games. I know the internet enhances the ugliness of the world by a million.


I get it.

I guess the fact that about a year ago I watched a young man via school surveillance get knocked out by another child and others walk over him and laugh like he was a log in the middle of the bathroom floor-still stings me. The one thing you do as a parent that is innate and you can’t stop from happening no matter how much you try to rationalize it-is you empathize. What if that was my kid? How many times has your wife of husband said, “if anyone even thought about it with my kid!”


My fear is feed by that, and I try to not absorb the pain that other parents may feel who have been through a school tragedy-big or small. But as a parent-HOW CAN YOU NOT? I can’t stop feeling like…I’m going to send my kid to school with bodyguard or I’ll just have to be his teacher for the next 12 years. K through 12, I’ll be working on certifications for every grade fuck it! This onion has many layers and like a Vidalia they are all tear worthy. Is he safe to…

Wear a hoodie?

Go into a nice department store?

Go to a pool?

Get pulled over by a cop?

Drive a nice car?

Smile and drive a nice car?

These are actual legit questions to ask in this day an age. I’m not going to blanket his existence by saying he is a young black child in America. What I will say is, he my son and he lives in America. There are normal worries and then there are worries that are unfortunately specifically for him. What worries me the most?

All of them.





Critical Thinker