My minds playing tricks on me.
I had a dream.
Let’s classify it as a nightmare.
A learning nightmare.
Preston in the dream was in kindergarten and was at the bus stop waiting for his bus with some older kids. First sign of a dream slash lesson, it’s Preston but it’s toddler Preston. Book-bag, big kid clothes, but baby faced with a pacifier.
Basically a little black Boss Baby.
I’m in stalker dad mode, watching him from afar. I actually stand at a bus station ahead of his and blend in with all the kids that are three foot smaller than me.
Both buses come at the same time and we both board. I run to the back of my bus to see him climb on. Clearly he is in some sort of futuristic bus where I can watch him like I’m watching the clearest HD 100 inch television. I see him sit, he is between two big kids and he starts crying. I see my toddler kindergartener crying through his pacifier. I’m alarmed because there is no one there to help him, no one there to comfort him. No one there to find out what’s wrong.
I’m also stuck watching and have no way of helping. It’s agonizing. The bigger kids around him act like he’s not there, one of them look at him like “what is your problem little kid?”
I wake up.
I’m in a chair in my hotel room.
It and my emotions seemed too real.
I may need to see someone about this anxiety deal.
One another note, I think I hear the lesson loud and clear.
Preston is not a baby. I can’t help him all the time. He will have to learn and tough a lot of things out himself. I need to understand that you have to let go eventually for HIS progression. The bus window was a great metaphor for watch but don’t interfere. The baby faced toddler going to kindergarten is to show I may look at him as a baby but time and his life moves on.
You’ll find this in the manual in Chapter 929: Growing Pains…Mine Not His.